She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
no you cant smoke seaweed
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
