Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I love you.
Bad choice
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