Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
