i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
