that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
