Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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