nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
