Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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