New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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