one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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