Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
