East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
