Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
