I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
