you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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