i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
