does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
