Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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