the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
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We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
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If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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