What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm just crazy horny about you
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Randomize
