If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize