On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
My feet surprised me
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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