I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
