He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
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She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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