So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
