Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
