Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
