And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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