thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
