I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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