it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
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