What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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