Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Someone came in the potted fern
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
