At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
