your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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