Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
