I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
