You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
