I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
