But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
