oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
