Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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