Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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