it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize