I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i drank out of a bidet.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
