did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Randomize
