Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
