I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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