he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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