That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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