apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
