Kiss
Puke
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.Â
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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