you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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