He uses pillows to masturbate.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
How does it feel to date your dad?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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