living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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